Sunday, August 7, 2016

Sunset in Black and White

A sunset without colors is just a marker, a way of indicating the passage of time. This day is done; better rest up for tomorrow. Lately it does seem that the days are just boxes to be checked off, one at a time. There are lots and lots of boxes filling my days.

There are the little boxes in Mom's pill minder that need to be monitored, and re-filled weekly. But some days those boxes cannot provide enough structure, and a pill is missed or a double dose nearly ingested. Thankfully it is not a life-or-death kind of pill.

There are the boxes created on the notepad where Mom also writes down what pills she takes and when. The day of the week and date is followed by her shorthand for the type of medication -- BP, Pain, Horizant -- and some times the days seem to mix together, and the lines on the notepad are unable to contain the confusion. No, today is still Saturday.  Tomorrow is the 8th. And so on. Adding a new medication creates chaos. Did I take that pill? I forgot to take my pill. Am I supposed to take a pill? What is this pill for? All these questions in the course of an hour's time.

So I need one box for my impatience, another for my snark, and a separate, waterproof container for all the tears I cannot cry. 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Monday Meh, Less Bullets More Love edition

Wakagi-Chan, "Rainbow Tears"   
I don't have sufficient words for the despair and anger and sadness I feel after this weekend's massacre in Orlando. But I am working to find the words to tell public officeholders how their failure to act on reigning in our country's ridiculous gun laws holds them complicit in the deaths of these latest victims, and others. 

Enough. Enough is already too much.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Tuesday Takeout

Aha! Finally there seems to be some hope on the career front, at least if my dessert has anything to say about it.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Sunday Suspension

Activity on this page will be suspended until at least mid-March while I tend to matters near and far. My mother has a smorgasbord of medical issues going on, and as her short-term memory gets worse and worse, I need to call up more and more patience in my dealings with her. I'm not complaining about the caretaking role, though -- only about the amount of energy it requires. But who knows how much longer she will be with us -- it could be 20 years or 20 days -- so I will do the best for her I can. Whether she likes it or not! Seriously, she wants to assign a dollar value to all the tasks I do for her, and while I've tried letting her know that way of thinking upsets me, I don't know what good it's done. Perhaps part of the issue comes from her not living nearby while her own mother was in declining health, leaving her without a frame of reference for the way families take care of each other, the way roles get reversed when the child becomes the parent's caretaker. 

Anyway, I do have a break of sorts in sight. Work requires that I travel to southern California in 2 weeks,  and while I was hesitant to spend more time away than absolutely necessary, my sister convinced me to go ahead with plans to visit my cousin in Santa Monica while I'm out there. "This might be the last vacation you get to take for a while," she said. Well, I didn't want to think that, so thanks, sis! 

And yes, work is still a 4-letter word in my book. Not only is my immediate work environment increasingly dysfunctional and unpleasant, the University and the state are not supportive of activities such as ours that have a noble mission but do not rake in piles of tuition dollars. Already a number of "retirement" announcements are filling my inbox as changes are happening across campus. I've got to put in another 5 years before that is even a semi-feasible option for me, though. (They haven't completely slashed benefits to the bone, so at age 61 with 15 years service, I could collect partial retirement while looking for a new gig. But five years is too long to be miserable, though!).  I've been trying to change roles at the University, and with more people getting disgusted and retiring early, I just might have success one of these days. It's really starting to look like it's time to cast my resumes in a wider circle, though.

But not too wide, because I have to stay put to care for my mom.....

Monday, February 15, 2016

Monday meh

Big cynic that I am, I still like a good love story, and I was utterly delighted when an old acquaintance recently found the love of his life and shared the story of their romance via Facebook. Just looking at photos of Renny and Bernadette, all smiles, was enough to counteract whatever snipping and sniping might be going on in other corners of my newsfeed, and their happiness was obvious, contagioius even. 

But yestetday brought the saddest news imaginable. Renny's generous, loving heart gave out on him. And the hearts of the many friends and aquaintances whose lives he touched are hurting now. I spent Valentines Day with the reminder to never take a day with a loved one for granted. 

Rest in peace, sweet friend....

Friday, February 12, 2016

Funky Friday, Raise Your Hand edition

Raise your hand if I should revive the Funky Friday postings.

There's a whole lotta movin' and groovin' going on here, so join on in and keep your booty from freezing!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Wienerdog Wednesday, Walentine Edition

Here are some saucy sausages celebrating their love. Or maybe they're just being dogs. 

Monday, February 8, 2016

Monday Meh...

This is all the meh I can muster today. 

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Wienerdog Wednesday, Superbowl Edition

Scooter Pie missed the casting call on this one. At any rate, she'd be more suited to a mattress commercial.

Monday, February 1, 2016

Monday Meh, you can say that again edition

This. It's exactly how I feel in the winter, and not just on Mondays.