Saturday, February 4, 2012

Keeping Abreast of Things

Squashed Boobs
I have a left boob and a right boob, but unlike Congressional left and right boobs, mine present a united front (particularly when squashed into a sports bra). When it comes to achieving the greater good, my left and right boob team up and get results, neither one taking more or less credit for their accomplishments. Also unlike political boobs, mine know when it's appropriate to keep a low profile, and when it's expedient to stand out and make a statement. There is nothing worse than boobs that get the wrong kind of attention, at the wrong time. Politicians could learn a lot from my boobs.

This week the Florida Primary featured a prominent display of boobs. Candidate Santorum sagged badly in the polls leading up to the race, and despite claiming the moral high ground, fell flat with only 13% of the votes cast. Gingrich, considered by many to be the biggest boob in the race because of his inflated ego, only came in second place, giving primary winner Romney the media spotlight. Gingrich and his supporters were uplifted, however, when Romney's "I don't care about the very poor" remark popped out during a CNN interview. No wonder the spirits of moderate Republicans are drooping, as it seems no candidate can measure up to their expectations. But any boob should realize that there's no such thing as one-size-fits-all, and lacking a stand-out contender, the Republicans seem likely to come up empty-handed in November's election.

These boobs should sue Komen for infringement.
Media attention snapped momentarily from the presidential race to a matter close to the hearts of many Americans regardless of political affiliation - breast cancer awareness. It was revealed that the Susan D. Komen Foundation, under pressure from an anti-abortion group, unhooked its backing for Planned Parenthood, a major provider of health services to low income women. This is not the first time Komen's tactics have raised eyebrows  -- the group has also made headlines for seeking financial restitution against lesser-endowed advocacy groups who adopt Komen's "for the cure" tag in their own fundraising drives. Mixing politics and women's health issues leaves a bad taste in the mouths of those who've lost loved ones to breast cancer, so many considered it a victory when Komen later announced a reversal of its decision. Still others are glad that Komen's questionable financial and policy tactics were exposed, and hope to nip partisan quibbling over the issue in the bud. (Boobs are people, my friends!)

I'm sure there were lots of other boobs in the news this week, but for now I think I've milked this topic for all I can.


  1. What a lovely piece of snark and beautifully written.

  2. For one, I'll take your boobs over those other boobs any day. But I'm afraid the biggest boobs of all are the ones who vote for those other boobs in the first place. There just ain't no accounting for taste.

  3. As a breast cancer survivor, I know a thing or two about boobs.

    Your wonderful snark made my cup runneth over.

  4. Thank you, Leslie -- I think I was channelling Murr today!

    Mr. C, I know you are a man of discriminating taste when it comes to boobs.

    Shaw, that is a wonderful compliment - I'm glad you stopped by!

  5. Ahem, I think you need to do a companion about pricks. On the other hand, this covers that as well, doesn't it. A boob by any other name is a prick. NO wait...or, is that a prick by any other name is a boob? Damn, now I feel incredibly inadequate regards this boob/prick/prick/boob thing.

  6. Feelings of inadequacy in the prick department, jj? Your secret is safe here.... at least until Chas and Punch come along.

  7. Well deuce on me. I knew...KNEW...the minute that comment left my fingers that I would come to rue it. Bring it on mofos!

  8. Btw, my smartassness notwhithstanding, I thought this was a damned fine, well written and clever post, D.

  9. Thanks, jj - trying to get my blogging mojo back!

  10. Leave it to JJ to bring a prick to the party. BTW, there's a picture of his ex over at Punch's place. The one who left him for another woman.

  11. brilliant and funny and completely on.

    it also attracted some great comments.... i wouldn't mind a snark on pricks.... if jj is up for it.

  12. I've seen boob development in my own country. Some grow into boobs with a firm stand on the issues on some flip from side to side and need to be harnessed by the people.

  13. Mr. C - At least jj can hold his own.

    Harlequin, I love it when the comments are as titillating as the post itself :-)

    Doug, I'm sure you can find boobs everywhere.

  14. There you go again, C. That is a fabrication of your demented mind. She did not LEAVE. She was aliens from the far side of the moon. It's actually very sad...she became a Stockholm Syndrome victim and now has a white alien helmet permanently attached to her head. Yes, you guessed it, they gave her to Newt.

    Harlequin, I am always up...for snark.

    iTell...that was the first thing my granddaddy taught me..."hold your own, boy."


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