Sunday, December 1, 2013

2013 Holiday Gift Guide

Even though my own holiday budget is in the negative figures, that hasn't stopped me from browsing the interwebs to seek out some great gift ideas. I hope you'll find someone on your own list who deserves one of these treats:
Get in the holiday spirit with
Trout Schnapps





















Gives a whole new twist to the slogan "Taste the rainbow!" I am presuming that the schnapps itself is trout-flavored, and not intended for consumption by trout, because that would just be silly! (Then again, where did the expression "drinks like a fish" originate?) The Scandinavian in me wants to believe that Trout Schnapps would make a fine accompaniment to our holiday Smörgåsbord, the perfect thing to wash down Uncle Trygve's lutefisk. Apparently Gunnison Liquors in Colorado is the sole purveyor of this gustatory delight. It's not clear whether or not they'll ship, but it might be worth a trip out there to take advantage of the Senior Discount and Free Bag of Ice with $5 purchase.

When you've had your fill of Trout Schnapps, it's time to try out the
Power Nap Head Pillow

















It's a good thing that this pillow conceals one's identity, because I sure wouldn't want to be seen in public wearing one! On the other hand, I'll probably be wishing I had this the next time I'm traveling by air, because nothing says "Leave me alone!" quite like dressing up as a human Obie Doll.  Anyway, the Power Nap Pillow is available from that purveyor of pricey and preposterous provisions, Hammacher Schlemmer. The online catalog touts the benefits of this pillow for creating the perfect "microenvironment ideal for achieving a deep, restful sleep whether stranded in a crowded airport or recharging between meetings at work." You apparently use the "ear pockets" to keep your hands from rolling off the desk when using the pillow thusly:
 

So I might like one of these for the office. It's a bit expensive, though, at $99.95. But getting enough rest? Priceless.

Is that drool running down your chin, or are your creative juices flowing after that rejuvenating nap? Then Crafting With Cat Hair
http://www.amazon.com/Crafting-Cat-Hair-Cute-Handicrafts/dp/1594745250

is the book for you! But beware -- apparently if you only have one cat and limited patience, you're pretty much stuck with making finger puppets. Smelly, itchy finger puppets. But if you're really ambitious, my trolling on Pinterest gives me to understand that there are entrepreneurial types who will sell their felines' fur -- enough, perhaps, to knit a coat for your Tabby, which might be much appreciated if your harvesting brushing was a bit overzealous.

That ought to get you started on your own holiday gift shopping. I'm pretty much going to be a cheapskate thrifty this year and will be re-gifting some unread books, too-small Tshirts, and that "Life of Jesus" VHS tape I got in the mail, but there just might be a special someone on my list who can use a dachshund hair pencil cozy --  so I'm going to go take a nap and wake up inspired!

16 comments:

  1. Trout-flavored schnapps? Barfolino!! Who comes up with this??

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    1. I have more of a problem with Japanese shrimp-flavored candy, to be frank.

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  2. and then there is Monkey Butt soap.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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    1. Gotta keep our simian friends tidy, OB!

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  3. Oh hell yes, fishy schnapps! I've been looking for a way to get more snap in my line.

    As to the pillow...word on the street is, forget about paying $99.95...you can get the same result with Depends...much cheaper, friends. But a word of caution...only use them straight out of the package.

    Are hairballs allowed?

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    1. I knew you'd like that, JJ. And thanks for the tip re: Depends.

      Hairballs can be linked together to form unique necklaces, I believe, so start harvesting!

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  4. Maybe the Schnapps is for Ice Fishermen, bait perhaps? The head muffin thing--no thank you a Vicodin works much better-and you really don't care about your hands getting run over by an airport baggage cart...there's always another Vicodin for the pain.

    Now animal fur inspired gifts--if you get in the mood to try I have an 80 pound mutt, pure bred mutt mind you, that sheds avalanche style. Send address and I will in return regift said producer of animal hair to you. You food bank does carry 50 pound bags of dog food right? That'd cover the first week or so.

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    1. WM, you're just full of the holiday spirit -- but I am having enough trouble managing little Scooter Pie and her outputs of hair, etc., so I'll pass on the offer of the Mutt. Thanks for thinking of me, though.

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  6. Gift giving is gonna be limited here, too. I have to pay for the gifts I gave myself (a much needed computer, and a not really needed small tablet but I wanted it.)

    Tyler is the only one to get something :-)

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  7. Barq is no longer around after 17 years, but they now have Reggie, another all black cat :-)

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  8. Um…I have bought the cat-hair knitting book for people. More than once. They like cats. And knitting. I don't think any of them have actually tried putting the two together yet. I think they should make coats for the cats out of their own fur.

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    1. Vole, your cat-loving, knitting friends are neglecting a perfect source of material! It's the same as growing a garden but not using your produce in the kitchen!

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  9. Now that power nap head pillow works for me. In fact, yawn, I could use one right now.

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    1. I've felt like my head was inside one of those for the past 2 days, mr. C...ugh,

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