Monday, December 31, 2012

Monday Meh, blow it out yer ___ edition (A Collective Poem)

"Women with party favors" Photo by Leslie Jones from the Boston Public Library Flickr Archive
Perched on the edge of a fiscal cliff
I cannot help but wonder if
the new year will be any diff-
erent than Two Thousand Twelve.

Will the world become more kind
than in the year that's soon behind
or will  __________* still be maligned
like in Two Thousand Twelve?

Global warming not averted,
Women's health rights unasserted,
Naked greed un-pantsed and -shirted;
I'm disappointed, Two Thousand Twelve.

(your verse appears below in color)**

Same old Boss got re-elected.
Death and war quite unaffected.
Our poor grew ever more dejected.
Was this your plan Two-Thousand Twelve?


Occupy and unions surveilled and tested.
Tea Parties and banks left unmolested.
Lawmakers all uninterested.
Just S.O.P. Two-Thousand-Twelve.


 I've lost life's passion
My heart has turned hard and ashen
My words to myself are hard and bashin'
"My lard-ass is jiggling like a Kardashian."

-- according to Now in Two Thousand Twelve.

Obama's son Trayvon is dead!
attacks by gun are up
wages and production down
end of the year and what do we get
a ball drop in New York, 

end of Two Thousand Twelve.

Losing rights day by day
But one needs revising anyway
Give 26 bullets to the NRA
And then just go away Two Thousand Twelve.


Heft yourself up two thousand twelve
let your stink rot away on the shelf.
Kiss my ass you were one very fucked up year,
you’ve already got me marked and labeled
bent naked and flat across the fucking table
a bit lower and place your lips upon my rear!***


I am unfamiliar with Kardishians
But I know what Congress is slashing
The social programs and safety nets they are lashing
To give tax breaks to the rich.


Can't develop any pass-i-on
for a rhyming with Kardashian
who are shameless with their fash-i-on
but could use a good whip lash-i(o)n'

-- says Harlequin re: two Thousand Twelve.

But auld acquaintance be forgot
this New Year's Eve let's drink a lot
and leave with this departing thought:
It could've been worse, Two Thousand Twelve.

 Happy New Year Anyway.

(* gays, immigrants, liberals, women, the unemployed, the 99%, single parents, minorities, socialists, Muslims, people who "look" Muslim,  -- just part of the exhaustive list of groups who were bullied one way or another by politicians, media, and sometimes entire countries in 2012. There wasn't room to list them all in the rhyme scheme so insert your favorite! )

**Hey kids - a genius friend of mine (I'll just call him "Kevin" ) had the idea to make this a crowd-sourced poem. If you want to play along, compose your own verse in the comments, below, and I'll paste it in a different colored font into the body of the poem (the original will be in black). 
UPDATE: Non-political verses welcome, too -- now's the time to bemoan the NHL lockout, Whitney Houston's untimely passing, and Honey BooBoo's appearance. Special prize for the first poet who can rhyme "Kardashian."
UPDATE 1.1.13: Just like the NRA won't restrict access to firearms, I've decided to lift any restrictions on rhyme scheme. Sticks and stones, ya know....

*** Read more of Detroit poet M Durfee's work at The Walking Man 

26 comments:

  1. Same old Boss got re-elected.
    Death and war quite unaffected.
    Our poor grew ever more dejected.
    Was this your plan Two-Thousand Twelve?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Occupy and unions surveilled and tested.
    Tea Parties and banks left unmolested.
    Lawmakers all uninterested.
    Just S.O.P. Two-Thousand-Twelve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent, Joe. I thought for sure you'd be the one to rhyme "Kardashian," though :-)

      Delete
  3. Something with Kim Kardashian, Ross Bagdasarian comes to mind, but why bring chipmunks in to this if we don't have to?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've lost life's passion
    My heart has turned hard and ashen
    My words to myself are hard and bashin'
    "My lard-ass is jiggling like a Kardashian."


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guess someone had to do it LOL.

      Delete
    2. I added a line for you, "Now" -- hope you don't mind...and thanks for playing!

      Delete
  5. Obama's son Trayvon is dead!

    attacks by gun are up

    wages and production down

    end of the year and what do we get

    a ball drop in New York, end of

    two thousand and twelve

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was thinking similar thoughts, jeffrey -- appreciate your contribution! Hope you don't mind some minor editing.

      Delete
  6. Losing rights day by day
    But one needs revising anyway
    Give 26 bullets to the NRA
    And then just go away Two Thousand Twelve

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the Canadian perspective, Doug. Happy New Year to you!

      Delete
  7. A Happy New Year kiss to you, Intell!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Back atcha, Doug! Hope you have a very good year.

      Delete
  8. Hope i wasn't late to the party


    Heft yourself up two thousand twelve
    let your stink rot away on the shelf.
    Kiss my ass you were one very fucked up year,
    you’ve already got me marked and labeled
    bent naked and flat across the fucking table
    a bit lower and place your lips upon my rear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never too late to party on New Year's Mark - thanks for the contribution. I just wish you'd have expressed your real feelings, though ;-)

      Delete
  9. I am unfamiliar with Kardishians
    But I know what Congress is slashing
    The social programs and safety nets they are lashing
    To give tax breaks to the rich.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ol' Buzz -- I was too distracted to follow the drive to the cliff last night, so I'm not sure if we went over or not -- in any event, I am certain our best interests are not being fully served. Happy New Year to you, anyway, and thanks for the verse!

      Delete
  10. "My lard-ass is jiggling like a Kardashian."

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  11. Can't develop any pass-i-on
    for a rhyming with Kardashian
    who are shameless with their fash-i-on
    but could use a good whip lash-i(o)n'

    oh, well.
    i tried.
    loved this post and the comments.
    nicely done.
    happy new year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And a good try it was, harlequin! This was an interesting exercise, I'll say that much. Thanks for the contribution. And a very good 2013 to you, too!!

      Delete
  12. Sorry, Anonymous, but if you're not man enough to own up to your filthy comment by name, you're deleted.

    ReplyDelete
  13. OK, I ain't no poet...and know it, but I'll try:

    Forget about the year of the twelve,
    with the next I already have things to shelve.

    Momma to the ER on the first,
    dehydrated and with a bodacious thirst.
    Pumped full and now OK.
    But, the youngest down on the third day,
    same as momma with the upchuck,
    what the fuck
    is this luck?

    On the fifth damned day,
    Poppa JJ began to sway.

    Then it occurred,
    vision blurred,
    a hellufa headache and a dull chest pain,
    back to the ER to play that game.

    Nitro to the rescue,
    with a lot of tests and more to do.
    "Hey, don't I know you?"

    Overnight, in room seven and they still don't know,
    they still don't know.

    Doc says coulda been this, coulda been that,
    a mini-stroke, a bad joke, some good stoke (not)...too much fat.

    Get some more nitro, you know,
    just in case Joe.

    I do know, I don't want to go...yet.
    Got no answer...and no bet.

    Who the hell knows,
    as far as this year goes...
    not even the Mayans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Holy hell, JJ -- what kind of partying do you all do out there in the plains? I'm just glad that you got to day seven without seeing heaven ;-) Take care, and don't watch the news -- it'll only make you feel worse.

      Delete
  14. And didn't even get kissed!

    Thanks for the tips,
    won't watch the dips.

    Ok, I agree, enough verse JJ.

    ReplyDelete

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