It’s that time of year again – PMS time. PMS is the unfortunate acronym for “Performance Management System,” the employee performance review procedures in place where I work. Actually they’ve done away with PMS in the past year, in favor of PM1, PM2, PM3, and PM4 – but “PMS” probably more accurately conveys the agony and general malaise that overcomes my department when the performance review cycle rolls around.
Last week I had my own review, which consisted chiefly of my supervisor telling me how badly my colleagues and I have disappointed him by refusing to cheerfully continue enabling our most dysfunctional colleague’s behavior. He went on to critique (criticize) my own performance because I don’t execute the duties of my position exactly as he would, and left no doubt in my mind that he would rather have someone else occupying my office. Preferably a minority male, because there are so few of those in leadership positions in the field. (Never mind the fact that there are woefully few minorities of any gender within 50 miles of the university where I work.)
So…in order to earn “Outstanding” assessments on next year’s review, it looks like I need to make some major changes.
Anybody know where I can get some melanin and testicles?
(Image borrowed from here.)