Sunday Suspension

Activity on this page will be suspended until at least mid-March while I tend to matters near and far. My mother has a smorgasbord of medical issues going on, and as her short-term memory gets worse and worse, I need to call up more and more patience in my dealings with her. I'm not complaining about the caretaking role, though -- only about the amount of energy it requires. But who knows how much longer she will be with us -- it could be 20 years or 20 days -- so I will do the best for her I can. Whether she likes it or not! Seriously, she wants to assign a dollar value to all the tasks I do for her, and while I've tried letting her know that way of thinking upsets me, I don't know what good it's done. Perhaps part of the issue comes from her not living nearby while her own mother was in declining health, leaving her without a frame of reference for the way families take care of each other, the way roles get reversed when the child becomes the parent's caretaker. 

Anyway, I do have a break of sorts in sight. Work requires that I travel to southern California in 2 weeks,  and while I was hesitant to spend more time away than absolutely necessary, my sister convinced me to go ahead with plans to visit my cousin in Santa Monica while I'm out there. "This might be the last vacation you get to take for a while," she said. Well, I didn't want to think that, so thanks, sis! 

And yes, work is still a 4-letter word in my book. Not only is my immediate work environment increasingly dysfunctional and unpleasant, the University and the state are not supportive of activities such as ours that have a noble mission but do not rake in piles of tuition dollars. Already a number of "retirement" announcements are filling my inbox as changes are happening across campus. I've got to put in another 5 years before that is even a semi-feasible option for me, though. (They haven't completely slashed benefits to the bone, so at age 61 with 15 years service, I could collect partial retirement while looking for a new gig. But five years is too long to be miserable, though!).  I've been trying to change roles at the University, and with more people getting disgusted and retiring early, I just might have success one of these days. It's really starting to look like it's time to cast my resumes in a wider circle, though.

But not too wide, because I have to stay put to care for my mom.....