(Feel free to skip this post, which is mostly therapeutic in nature.)
My houseguests this weekend were intellikid's paternal grandmother and aunt, who traveled down from Pennsylvania for her graduation, and with whom I've kept in contact since my ex doesn't seem to want any sort of relationship with any of his own family (intellikid included).
As a divorced parent I've been in the awkward position of not wanting to paint a bad picture of my kid's dad -- after all, the divorce was between him and me, and shouldn't have affected their relationship. When all contact from him pretty much stopped a year or so after his remarriage, however, it became harder to portray him in any kind of good light. Still, when intellikid was old enough to start asking why I left her dad, I simply said that he didn't treat me very well, and left it at that. I thought it best for her to preserve whatever good memories she still had of him, in hopes that they would work out their relationship on their own terms.
This weekend was the first time I really had a one-on-one talk with my ex-sister-in-law, and learned that the ex is even more of a psycho than I previously believed him to be. It's no comfort at all knowing that his bastardly behavior extends to others, but it has confirmed in my own mind that my leaving the marriage was indeed the right, sane, and safe thing to do.
Still, I don't want to stop being angry at him. But I don't want to think of him at all, either. Bastard.
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Unfortunately, there are bastards...and bitches out there who should never procreate.
ReplyDeleteSomehow the anger part has to morph into something more in the neighborhood of say...disgust? Works for me, at any rate.
Lucky escape perhaps?
ReplyDeleteI really feel for your daughter. My ex is out of the picture for my daughter as well. After three years, she's coming to terms with it.
ReplyDeleteI think the more he stays away, the less you need to feel anything at all for the bastard.
ReplyDeletejaded, I am working through the process: first anger, then disgust, then it's voodoo doll time!
ReplyDeleteLou, I think you're right.
becomingkate, I cannot understand how any parent can just forget about their child. Thanks for the kind words.
Doug, see my comment to j, above :-)