Sunday, May 17, 2009

If you do it right . . .

"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you." -- Erma Bombeck

Woke up this morning with my throat all swollen, presumably from inhaling fumes from the stuff I used to clean my shower yesterday. So much for better living through chemistry. I'll just use elbow grease next time.

I have fallen out of several habits lately -- housework and blogging being two of them. Now I have less than a week to make the house presentable for the guests we're expecting -- my ex's sister and her brood plan to come down from Pennsylvania for intellikid's graduation. Yes, life . . give me more stress, please.
Of course, one of my favorite ways of dealing with stress is avoidance. To that end, I have picked up a new habit -- watching House reruns on TV. I am seriously addicted, and the prolonged rainy spell we've been having has helped justify my prolonged bouts of inertia in front of the tube. But I can quit any time I want to . . .

I just can't understand some people's compulsions, that there are actually individuals out there who iron their bedsheets, alphabetize their spice racks, and who wouldn't think of sitting down to read a novel if there is an unwashed coffee cup in the sink. I do know that the chaotic state of my domicile and my psychic clutter are somewhat related . . . but which came first?

I bet I can find a self-help book or Dr. Phil episode to help me figure that one out.


  1. My counter needs to be cleaned, the dishes washed, the floor damp mopped, the tub cleaned and the shower curtain removed so I can lay it on the floor and clean it properly. It all needs to be done before next weekend, when my son and his girlfriend come down from Toronto.

    No need to rush, I think.

    Housework aint ever gonna kill me...

  2. My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. ~Erma Bombeck

    There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. ~Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant, 1968

  3. No danger of death from compulsive orderlyness in this household.

    My brother and his wife's annual visit takes care of our domestic nook and cranny cleaning for the year. Except of course, for kitchen duties...I'm not fond of Las Cucarachas.

    As to House. This is a family affair here. The youngest jaded is not quite into it as yet, but the other three of us are as rabid as rabid can get over it. Not a bigger stinker ever lived...which is why we like him.

    We also have a weekly wager as to which orifice is going to exude the fluid du jour, either in the opening scenes, or later in the hospital bed. Sometimes it both...and sometimes it's multible times.

  4. I find it interesting that none of you has commented here confessing to a cleaning compulsion. But then I guess the clean freaks are all busy sanitizing their keyboards.

    (Jaded - I am curious to know how you explained the S&M episode to little jaded.)

  5. I'm not great on cleaning, but my books and records are alphabetised simply because there are 20,000 of each! As to ironing (and I'm a bloke), I find a deep, Zen-like calm in seeking the perfect crease! My ex thought this was hilarious - she never ironed anything.

  6. PV - I find lawnmowing rather meditative. And I'm not a bloke. Go figure.

    And speaking of figures, is it safe to assume you are exaggerating slightly regarding the extent of your media collections?


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