Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday Night Poetry Reading

(Since I don't have a date tonight, I've been sitting here assessing the drinkability of a free bottle of Cab I acquired, and looking through my computer archives to see what can safely be relocated to the Trash. I re-discovered a poem I wrote some years ago when I was trying out Yahoo's personals and discovered that my former Lit Crit professor had his profile posted there. Quelle surprise! I mean, this guy was adorable, if a bit high-strung, literate, articulate, and one would think that he'd have coeds lusting after him day after day and have no need to resort to an intermediary such as an online dating site to get him some find a soulmate. At any rate, instead of putting out the standard bio, Dr. B posted a number of poems critiquing the online dating environment from a male perspective. I wrote the following poem in response, but never had the nerve to send it to him.)

You think you got it bad?
We girls have it worse –
Most guys on Yahoo
Can't write, much less converse
(Although I will grant you
your talent with verse!)
Dudes put up photos
So tasteless, I cringe --
It's obvious they come
From some lunatic fringe.
I'm not all that picky
When going on dates,
But teeth, hair and shirts
Are all admirable traits
For a guy to display
(So in that regard,
You're doing okay.)

Bongo photo appropriated from fotopedia.


  1. a) Drink the cab. You deserve it.
    b) You also have a talent for verse intelliwench
    c) When you found the poem did you wonder if he was still looking to get him some/find a soulmate?

  2. Lou -
    a) I did, and I do;
    b) Thanks - I'm a trained verse-slinger;
    c) Wondered, yes -- but am not interested in taking on either of those roles myself.

  3. a) I like your verse
    b) I can converse
    c) I often curse
    d) So I have to rehearse

  4. You know, I'd like to get me some soulmate too. I've been considering the Twentysomething Brazilian boys who stay at the hostel up the block - but only ones whose visas are about to exprire and already have tickets on the plane back to South America.

    Which brings me back to BOB, the battery operated boyfriend.

  5. nice job with the verse
    reminds me of Granny the Ho's analysis of relationships that begin after retirement:

    He needs a nurse
    She needs a purse

  6. Are you saying you would not go out with a toothless, bald guy in a tank top...who happened to write poetry?

  7. PUNCH,
    a) Thank you,
    b) so true!
    c) (and blue)
    d) so do!

    PE - I was at the mall this week and constructed an entire fantasy about the Dead Sea Kiosk guy who wanted to rub lotions all over me...

    jaded, you're making it soooo difficult for me to be nice here.

  8. I used to write poetry in reply,
    But lately I'm much too tired to try.
    So to hell with it this time;
    Here's some prose that happens to rhyme.

  9. Intell I could give you the names of at least five ladies who would second that statement.

  10. Quality versifying.
    What's Cab? Short for Cabernet Sauvignon?

  11. Thank you, Vole - that is high praise indeed!
    Cab = Cabernet Sauvignon. Not my beverage of choice, but as mentioned, it was free. Actually I've paid for worse wine...


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