Wednesday, September 16, 2009

How my achievements mock me!*

(*Wm. Shakespeare, Troilus and Cressida)

I appreciate the spirit of the "Kreativ Blogger Award" bestowed upon me by Banquet of Consequences blogger jadedj. But he should have known that the "kreativ" spelling on the award graphic would not sit well (do you not recall my rant about misused apostrophes, man?).

However, I know jaded's heart was in the right place (Nebraska), and do humbly accept the honor. (I must point out, however, that if you were really a socialist like you say, jj, you would give EVERYBODY an award.)

As a condition of acceptance, I am supposed to enumerate seven favorite things "that do not involve people." In checking everyone else's lists, however, I see that the interpretation of non-human complicity is pretty loose (it ain't giraffes playing those blues you like so well, jj . . . ) so I'll just play along:

1) What do you know? I like wine, too. The redder the better. And as far as I know, most of the wine I've enjoyed was human-made. I have occasionally imbibed without human companionship, however. But that doeshn't mak mee a luSh...*hic*

2) Books. Also written by humans. But I can't live without them. And don't even tout the wonders of Kindle to me. I crave the clutter of real books -- in fact, I think they are a fine substitute for other forms of interior decorating.

3) A hot bath -- preferably with 1) and 2).

4) Being naked from the ankle down. I prefer going barefoot whenever possible. Sorry guys, but there'll be none of that shoe porn stuff on this blog!

5) Polar bears. I know that they are vicious carnivores, eat baby seals, and all that . . . but they are fascinating and attractive creatures. It would be a damn shame if we let them become extinct. (I wouldn't get in a hot bath with one, though, even if it was the last polar bear on Earth.)

6) The great outdoors. My childhood home was in the middle of nowhere (almost), and the surrounding woodland was as much "home" as the house we lived in. It's criminal that so many kids today are being raised like domestic animals, cooped up indoors with their Wiis, Playstations, DVD-players, and suchlike. They should be out in the back yard beating each other with sticks. But I digress . . .

7) Cooking. Even though I've mentioned how much I liked baking with intellikid, I really enjoy cooking as a solitary pursuit. It's creative and therapeutic and usually delicious, too. So if I'm in the kitchen, you don't have to ask if there's anything you can do to help. Unless you want to do the dishes.

Now the pay it forward part: I am supposed to reward four other bloggers. I don't suppose I can say that jadedj stole my answers? There are blogs aplenty out there that are worthy, but here are a few of my own favorites:

Bethany Illustrated does justice to the words and photos that grace her blog. And she has the bestest job in the world!

Hughesy could almost be my Aussie doppelganger, I believe. Except that her writing has actually been published.

Pantsless Ponderings is everything you could possibly want in a blog. Even a few things you don't want.

And in the "what the hell, it's getting late and I don't have all night" category, I pass the award to Robert Reich . Doesn't he deserve a little fun, too?

I will say that I am sincerely humbled that there are so many of you who don't have anything better to do than stop by this page. Now go outside and beat each other with wine is getting warm and my bath is getting cold!


  1. And well deserved too if I may say. Great acceptance post but shoe porn would have made it even better :-)

  2. I prefer barefoot as well, but safety laws won't allow it at work, and those friggin' bike pedals are kinda sharp. But at home, my feet are clothing optional, sorta like the rest of me bwahahahaha.

  3. Great accecptance. And the spelling correction. Shoe porn is ok but a fine set of feet, yes much better. I have just left the yard after beating JadedJ with a stick, for not giving me an award, and was wondering if i could join you in the bath? I'll bring a bottle of Cakebread Merlot and promise to stare only at your feet.
    Your writing is very nice to read. You deserve this recognition.

  4. I was counting on JadedJ to pass the KB on to you. You improved the award itself so much that I'm swiping it and posting it back at my place.

    I'm barefoot with coffee at the moment because it's before noon on a work day.

  5. Sounds like lots of foot fetishes in this post and comments. I shock the nail salon when I go in to have my toe nails clippoed as I only have 4 toes on my right foot. I should get a discount, right?

  6. But inquiring minds want to know if it was the edited version of the award passed on? Personally I think it took a bit of creativity to actually include the editing mark up on the award.

    Really? You wouldn't bath with a polar bear? Not even for a mid-winter fund raiser?

  7. Lou -- Thank you. As co-recipient, you're a deserving awardee, too. And you can take up whatever shoe slack I leave.

    Doug - How does that work out for you in the cold winters up there?

    Punch, my muse was with me when I penned (keyed?) the acceptance. As regards the bath & bottle, be careful what you ask for . . .

    PENolan- I am so glad you approve of the improvement! (And Jaded is predictable, isn't he?)

    Chimp, I have to ask - was it a lawnmowing accident? That's why my dad only had 3-1/2 toes on his left foot (and 1-1/2 toes in a jar of alcohol on the bookshelf).

    WM - I believe all the recipients would prefer the corrected version. I truly couldn't post it on my page in its unaltered state. (And wet dog smells bad enough; I have no need to find out what wet bear smells like.)

  8. Winter is outside, clothing optional is inside, eh? I'm Canadian, not crazy. Wait...

  9. "Raising kids like domestic animals." I can't tell you how many times I've observed people treating children, and the idea of having children, like they were/are pets. We live in La La Land.

  10. Hey, intelliwench!

    I don't know if my dear Pantsless Ponderer has seen your comment and/or post yet, but I thought I'd let you know that I added the award to his layout.

    I'll do my best to nag him into making the required post and re-taggage as soon as I can! :o)

  11. Don't nag on my behalf, Amanda (unless it gives you pleasure). I'm sure he's got plenty of pondering to do, with or without pants.

  12. Ahem, as I suspected, you have lived up to the award's intent. Uh, what was it called again? I can't get out of this and go look.

    Now, point by point.

    Indeed I do recall all of your rants, especially, the, apostrophe, thin,g. It taught me a great lesson...get it all out in one large long intense verbose run on sentence if you are commenting over at post-ralph's, sisters on Mondays Wednesdays and leap yearlings while patting your tummy and rubbing your naked ankles.

    I happen to be a one-on-one socialist, or in this case four in one, which is also a tie knot...and my list was indeed a tie. Understand?

    Another vino as numero uno. Hmmm.

    To finish up...a glass of red wine, with a book, in a hot bath, outside, naked from the ankle down, dreaming of a polar bear, while waiting for the coc au vin to get done WAS WHAT I WANTED TO SAY...but was too embarrassed to.

    BTW, I thought you had banned certain cretin bloggers comments demeaning other brilliant bloggers character. Just asking.


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