Wienerdog Wednesday, Renaissance edition

Vitruvian Wienerdog from Terry Pond:

"The proportions of the Dachshund figure seem mathematically implausible, with an incongruously long torso region and short arms and legs. Surprisingly fine-boned and even graceful shins, while the haunch is rounded and even meaty (seen more in some specimens than others). A fifth appendage, the "tail" often moves of its own accord.

Travel on all four legs is preferred mode of locomotion as subject has a tendency to topple whilst walking upright. In males parts seems perilously low for travel up stairs and other inclines, especially in particularly portly specimens.

The elongated face of the Dachshund ends in a wet, leathery snout, which is often engaged in inquisitive activity, while the tongue is companionaly close at hand, also wet but not as leathery.

Eyes are deeply expressive and effective at communication, which is fortunate as assorted yaps, barks and whines would otherwise indicate rather primitive language skills."